#26 Belonging + Systemic Pleasure
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In this episode, Dr. Mona chats with Ca’ren Hudson, a licensed therapist, certified Reiki practitioner, and registered Yoga teacher. Ca’ren develops the concept of systemic pleasure that explores pleasure beyond just the body and the senses.
First, Ca’ren shares how her personal and professional journeys led her to the topic of pleasure. She was a curious child and curious about sex, pleasure, and exploring the body. Her mother was very open with her and she became comfortable exploring that throughout her teenage years. She was often a therapist of her friends and wanted to blend the two worlds of sexuality and spirituality. In her mid-twenties, she became a marriage and family therapist where she helped couples and did her own research on sex therapy. She also did yoga training and started to explore the concept of pleasure identity, which led her to becoming a Reiki practitioner. She then started to explore the energetic pieces of pleasure and sexuality. Ca’ren recently opened up her own business called Flowering Heart Wellness, where she helps her clients find pleasure in mental, spiritual, and emotional systems.
Next, Ca’ren talks about what systemic pleasure means to her. She says systemic pleasure is to take it beyond the body and beyond just the senses. It’s about finding the ways you interact with pleasure every day. For example, going on a walk and seeing the trees can be pleasing. Systemic pleasure is not just orgasmic or sexual pleasure – it is whatever you enjoy and that gives you joy. Another example is eating your favorite meal when you do your little happy dance. That is pleasure because you enjoy it and have a moment of full embodiment. Another example is after a girls’ night with your friends when you feel seen. Pleasure is across different systems and is rooted in the human experience. Similar to belonging, pleasure is when we are deeply connected with others and ourselves, so there is also pleasure in belonging. Systemic pleasure brings us back into our body and its wisdom, and helps us develop a healthy relationship with our nervous system.
In addition, Dr. Mona and Ca’ren discuss what a healthy relationship with pleasure is and how we can be aware of whether or not it is healthy. Ca’ren shares a time when she gained weight after she would eat to numb herself. She would either over or under consume, and not be herself. Both ends of that are unhealthy. We need to listen and honor what our body needs by feeding it nutrients and nurturing it well. We should honor the craving, but if we’re only eating french fries or only eating kale salads, then that is not healthy. We need to listen to our bodies. We are neither bad for eating the cookies nor on a pedestal for just eating the salad. We need to be in constant communication with our body and become in sync with what our bodies need. Ca’ren also talks about how there is magic in nature and we trust the seasons that nature is in, and that we need to do the same thing with our bodies.
Acknowledging what is not pleasurable for us is just as important as knowing what is. We need to know what creates discomfort and what is displeasurable to us. Even in the mundane, every day we can still find pleasure. Most of the time, pleasure is not only found in the absolute highs or lows, but it could be in the stillness and quiet. Dr. Mona talks about how she has scheduled more of those mundane pleasurable moments into her days and has also reconsidered what a full day is, and how many meetings are allowed in a day. She says that too much of a good thing can be too much. She has diversity in the kind of pleasure that she finds each day. Ca’ren also talks about the added layer of Human Design and how in certain times of the day, we can’t be around people because our energetic layers are done and we have to check out. She says you need to learn to work with yourself and for yourself. There are many layers and richness in the ways that we connect to the world and ourselves.
In closing, Ca’ren shares that belonging to her means feeling in communion with her body, community, this beautiful Earth, and nature and spirits. She says belonging is being in communion with all that is.
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0:39 - Dr. Mona introduces today’s guest
1:38 - How have your personal and professional journeys led you to explore the topic of pleasure?
7:01 - What does systemic pleasure mean?
14:41 - What is a healthy relationship with pleasure and how can we be aware of whether or not it is healthy?
34:14 - What does belonging mean to Ca'ren?
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