#12 Belonging + Neurodivergence

May 9

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In this episode, Dr. Mona speaks with guest Patrick Casale, an AuDHD mental health therapist in Asheville, NC. Patrick is the owner of All Things Private Practice and Resilient Mind Counseling. He works as a private practice coach and strategist, a motivational speaker, and international retreat planner. He hosts the All Things Private Practice Podcast and co-hosts the Divergent Conversations Podcast. His work has inspired thousands of mental health professionals to take risks, start and grow their businesses, and invest in themselves. He is passionate about advocacy for reducing shame and stigma of mental health and imposter syndrome. His personal motto is “Doubt yourself, do it anyway.”

To begin, Patirick shares the journey of his neurodivergence diagnosis. He was diagnosed with ADHD around age 28 and with autism at age 35. Before his autism diagnosis, he recalls feeling extremely confused about how to navigate life and receiving social feelings. Since then, he has been on a journey of unpacking his diagnosis, figuring out what autism means to him, and unlearning his preconceived ideas of autism. He explains that autism is a neurotype which impacts all areas of a person’s life holistically. This is why he uses identity-first language, which is on the rise in lieu of person-first language. Patrick believes that the mental health community still has a long way to go in terms of their language.

Dr. Mona and Patrick then discuss the grief and relief process that comes along with an autism diagnosis. Unlike other conditions, an autism diagnosis does not come with solutions for managing or curing it. Grief inevitably comes along with any life-long diagnosis that will present challenges. Patrick also experienced grief in asking himself what the first 35 years of his life could have looked like if he knew that he was autistic. On the other hand, there is a sense of relief upon understanding why social situations and interactions have gone the way they have in the past.

Even as someone who hosts international conferences and meetings all over the world, Patrick shares that he still often experiences overwhelm on account of his surroundings. Creating communication with the body is one of the most important things a neurodivergent person can do for themselves. Receiving an autism diagnosis doesn’t mean that the person will automatically know what to do. However, they can learn coping strategies to calm and recenter when situations do arise. There is so much learning that goes into a condition like autism, which is life-altering and life long. Newfound language to explain experience, decision making, and behavior can be life changing. Patrick reveals that he is constantly learning new things all of the time. He also reminds the listeners that there is so much support that goes on behind the scenes for someone who may appear as a “high-functioning” autistic. It’s crucial that we continue to shed light on the support that goes on behind the scenes, especially while embarking on advocacy work. Patrick shares that we are moving away from using language around “functioning” and towards “support” because we don’t know how well someone could function if they had the proper supports in place. Likewise, we don’t always see how much support a person might be receiving in order to function.

Before wrapping up, Patrick shares how his diagnosis has impacted his sense of belonging in relationships. Post-diagnosis, he feels that things have really shifted even in terms of little things. Understanding the root of his behavior has aided in him being closer to his wife overall. He feels a greater sense of belonging and understanding than ever before.

In closing, Patrick shares that the best way to combat autistic burnout is to unpack our own anti-autism ableism. He is constantly evaluating whether the cost of doing something to appear “normal” will be worth it for him in the end. He also touches on the value of having neurodivergent friends who understand and accept his needs. Finally, Patrick provides his own definition of belonging – feeling seen, understood, and cared for.

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0:09 - Dr. Mona introduces today’s guest, Patrick Casale.

3:32 - Patrick shares his own story of AuDHD.

8:16 - Person vs. Identity-first language.

11:38 - The grief and relief process that comes with diagnosis.

28:30 - How experience can help in understanding autism.

35:25 - How the diagnosis has impacted Patrick’s sense of belonging in relationships.

37:55 - Overcoming autistic burnout.

42:30 - How Patrick defines belonging.

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Learn more about Patrick Casale

Follow Patrick on Instagram @allthingsprivatepractice and @allthingprivatepracticepodcast