#37 Belonging in Public Schools

Feb 6

This episode features Khalida Himes, a certified EMDR therapist and trauma-informed school social worker you may recognize from Instagram and TikTok as @sassyblacksocialworker.

To begin, Dr. Mona and Khalida discuss how school experiences profoundly shape a person’s perception of their childhood. Even with a supportive family, a lack of belonging in school can foster feelings of isolation. Khalida notes that this disconnection often influences how people reflect on their early years, with school environments playing a significant role in shaping their emotional well-being. Khalida emphasizes the significance of representation, particularly for Black students in predominantly white school systems. She now prioritizes creating spaces for her Black students to feel seen, valued, and supported emotionally and socially. Khalida shares her dedication to fostering a sense of belonging for students of color, who often feel invisible or marginalized in traditional classroom settings.

The conversation emphasizes the significance of culturally competent teaching and building meaningful connections with students. It’s noted that significant learning cannot happen without significant relationships. Teachers must celebrate every student in their classrooms, develop inclusive curriculums, and prioritize relationship-building at the start of each semester. The role of a school social worker is described as unpredictable and dynamic. While Khalida might plan her day around individual counseling sessions, social-emotional learning groups, and meetings, her schedule often changes due to student crises. Given the emotional intensity of her work, Khalida prioritizes self-care to avoid burnout.

Khalida discusses the growing prevalence of mental health issues among students, including a troubling rise in adolescent suicide rates. She attributes much of this to social media, which fosters unrealistic comparisons, exacerbates anxiety, and contributes to isolation. To combat isolation, Khalida’s school prioritizes connecting students to extracurricular activities and fostering community. Teachers actively identify students who are not involved in clubs and pair them with mentors or trusted adults to ensure they feel a sense of connection. The school has also introduced Wellness Thursdays, a monthly initiative where all classrooms focus on social-emotional learning topics like setting boundaries or time management.

As the discussion transitions toward holistic approaches to student well-being, Khalida emphasizes the importance of looking at students' lives beyond the classroom. Parents can play a crucial role in supporting their children’s mental health by encouraging community connections outside of school. A recurring challenge Khalida encounters is parents unintentionally contributing to their children’s anxiety. While their intentions stem from love, parents often pathologize their kids or push for perfectionism. She advocates for a balanced approach, encouraging parents to shift their focus from academic performance to their child’s mental health. Many behavioral issues, such as lack of focus or disruptive tendencies, are often symptoms of trauma rather than ADHD. Khalida stresses the importance of viewing students holistically and urges schools to educate teachers on recognizing and addressing trauma's effects in the classroom.

Advocates and social workers play a crucial role in educating such teachers, providing professional development on trauma awareness, and creating classroom environments that feel safe and supportive. Strategies include using tools like fidgets, incorporating mindfulness activities, and integrating Social-Emotional Learning. Teacher burnout is linked to a lack of support and tools to manage classroom challenges effectively. Khalida underscores the importance of administrators supporting teachers’ mental health through tools like meditation apps, acts of appreciation, and efforts to foster a supportive work environment.

In closing, the conversation shifts to strategies for fostering a sense of belonging and connection in students, families, and communities. Khalida emphasizes the importance of reaching every child by creating inclusive classrooms where students see themselves reflected in the curriculum. This involves celebrating different cultures and ensuring that pedagogy represents the diverse identities of the students. Such representation encourages students to feel valued and connected, ultimately increasing their engagement with school. A key takeaway is the importance of listening to children without judgment. Parents should focus on being present and receptive rather than immediately offering advice or solutions.

Finally, Khalida shares that belonging to her means being able to show up in your true authentic self and knowing that you will be accepted and feel connections.

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0:40 - Dr. Mona Introduces Today’s Guest, Khalida Himes.

6:27 - The Role of Belonging in Childhood Experiences.

8:08 - Representation and the Power of Identity.

10:56 - Unapologetic Authenticity and Fighting Systemic Inequities.

13:33 - The Importance of Culturally Competent Teaching.

18:05 - Rising Mental Health Challenges Among Students.

26:13 - The Role of Connection and Community in Student Well-Being.

29:57 - The Importance of Trauma-Informed Teaching.

32:08 - Holistic Support for Students and Teachers.

45:59 - Promoting Inclusion and Building Connection.

49:38 - What Belonging Means to Khalida