#40 Belonging + Hair

Feb 27

In this episode, Dr. Mona sits with her Nour Counseling colleagues Kristin Reddick, LCMHCA, and Danay Scott, LCMHC, to discuss the profound connection between hair and belonging.

The discussion begins with Dr. Mona acknowledging the unattainable and often undesirable nature of mainstream beauty standards rooted in Eurocentrism and patriarchal ideals. Dr. Mona shares her pride in her natural hair and body, a connection to her North African heritage and a source of empowerment. Kristin and Danay add that societal standards often label ethnic hair and styles as "too much" or deviant from the norm. These standards perpetuate racism, colonialism, and white supremacy, marginalizing diverse expressions of beauty. They all then share personal anecdotes about their early experiences with hair. Dr. Mona recalls chemically straightening her hair in her youth and feeling disconnected from her natural self. Kristin reflects on her first exposure to chemical relaxers as a child, starting with a Jheri curl and transitioning to relaxers. Danay discusses how generational messaging influenced her mother’s reliance on relaxers, which were seen as easier to manage.

Then, the conversation shifts to cultural terminology associated with Black hair. Danay explains terms like “kitchen,” referring to the hair at the nape of the neck, which often requires more detangling, and “beady beads,” describing tightly coiled curls. The group also discusses the term “dreadlocks” and its colonialist origins. Kristin highlights her preference for “locks” over “dreads” to reclaim the term and avoid the negative connotations of “dreadful.” Then, Danay shares her formative experiences with her hair, particularly the transition from relaxed to natural styles. By high school, Danay decided to cut off her relaxed hair to fully embrace her natural hair.

Kristin also shares her journey with locks, explaining how she had an emotional attachment to her first set. The decision to finally cut her locks was liberating, allowing her to experiment with short hairstyles. Kristin reflects on societal messaging about "good hair," which she encountered growing up, tied to thickness, length, and manageability. She challenges these narratives, emphasizing that all hair is inherently good. The discussion expands to highlight how internalized racism affects perceptions of "good hair" within Black and natural hair communities.

Before wrapping up, Danay reflects on her relationship with her hair, highlighting how her mother played a pivotal role in shaping her perspective. Learning to style her own hair became a transformative experience, boosting her confidence and self-expression. She embraced her unique preferences, styling her hair to reflect her own identity rather than conforming to societal norms. She explains that hair can be a medium for connecting with one's cultural roots and developing a profound sense of belonging.

The discussion concludes by exploring the intersection of hair, mental health, and belonging. The conversation notes how societal pressures to maintain "perfect" hair contribute to feelings of anxiety and perfectionism. This pressure often spirals into other aspects of life, affecting self-esteem and mental health. By challenging these norms and fostering acceptance, the speakers advocate for a broader understanding of how embracing natural hair can promote emotional well-being and self-belonging.

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0:40 - Dr. Mona Introduces Today’s Guests.

2:49 - Challenging Mainstream Beauty Standards.

6:09 - Early Hair Experiences and Societal Pressures.

11:50 - Danay’s Early Experiences Embracing Natural Styles.

14:09 - Locks, Good Hair Narratives, and Hair Agency.

18:13 - Internalized Racism and Curl Patterns.

20:00 - Building Belonging Through Hair Acceptance.

23:38 - Hair as a Tool for Belonging.

34:29 - What Belonging Means to Danay and Kristin

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Learn more Danay and Kristin