#32 Belonging + ADHD

Sep 26

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In this episode, Dr. Mona speaks with guest Lindley Cherry, licensed therapist and owner of C&C Betterworks Counseling and Therapist Learning Center.

To begin, Lindley Cherry shares her journey with ADHD, which started with a childhood diagnosis. She admits that for much of her life, she believed her experience was typical of everyone else, assuming others experienced the world in the same way. During her graduate program in counseling, she noticed a gap in education around ADHD and autism, as most discussions in her field were limited to anxiety and depression. This gap inspired Lindley to research ADHD more deeply, leading her to realize the broader impacts of neurodivergence, particularly for adults. She reflects on how adult traits of ADHD, such as being able to hold conversations and maintain friendships, differ from the childhood symptoms often emphasized in diagnostic tools.

Dr. Mona and Lindley then discuss the common misconception that people with ADHD or autism cannot be successful. Lindley recounts how people often express surprise at her academic and professional achievements despite her ADHD diagnosis. Dr. Mona adds that her ADHD, particularly the hyperactive type, is actually a driving force in her success. She explains how her impatience and inability to focus on unaligned tasks push her toward her life’s purpose. Both reflect on how their ADHD is not a barrier but a gift, enabling them to stay focused on meaningful tasks while avoiding distractions.

Dr. Mona shares how naming her neurodivergent traits has helped her embrace herself fully, leading to a deeper sense of self-belonging. Once she understood that these traits were connected to her ADHD, she began to see them as part of her neurodevelopmental makeup rather than personal flaws. Lindley echoes this sentiment, sharing how her work in creating assessments for ADHD and autism has helped both her and others accept themselves. The conversation also touches on the feelings of shame and secrecy that neurodivergent individuals often carry, as well as the importance of bringing these experiences to light.

Before wrapping up, Lindley offers advice for neurotypical people supporting individuals with ADHD, including taking a step back and not personalizing behaviors. When someone with ADHD seems angry or overstimulated, it’s often not personal but a reaction to sensory overload. Overstimulation may manifest as anger, but it's not a sign of rage—it’s just a temporary need for space. Recognizing this can help friends and loved ones better support individuals with ADHD. Offering support and patience, like asking if they need space, can make a significant difference. ADHD is a lifelong condition that can't simply be "left at home." Lindley urges people to embrace neurodivergence fully, both within themselves and in others, and to cultivate deep acceptance.

Finally, Lindley shares what belonging means to her: emotional trust with oneself and others.

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0:40 - Dr. Mona introduces today’s guest, Lindley Cherry.

3:47 - Lindley's Journey and Focus on ADHD.

7:36 - ADHD misconceptions and its role in success.

9:55 - Self-Acceptance and belonging.

15:29 - Lindley's development of an adult ADHD assessment.

22:25 - ADHD and social media.

27:23 - Addressing misconceptions in the mental health field.

29:59 - Seeking ADHD support without an official diagnosis.

32:36 - Supporting people with ADHD.

37:28 - Embracing neurodivergence.