#29 Belonging while Bicultural

Sep 5

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In this episode, Dr. Mona speaks with Chavi Khanna Koneru, co-founder and Executive Director of North Carolina Asian Americans Together (NCAAT), a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization committed to supporting equity and justice and fostering community among Asian Americans and allies in North Carolina.

Dr. Mona shares that both she and Chavi have similar experiences, with Dr. Mona's parents immigrating from Egypt and Chavi’s family coming from India. They explore how immigration has shaped their social and psychological development, including the challenges of making friends and finding a sense of belonging. Chavi talks about her family's history, particularly her mother's side, which was impacted by the partition of India and Pakistan, resulting in a refugee experience that continues to affect her family. Chavi's father, also from a Punjabi background, had a different experience, moving frequently due to his father’s government job. Chavi highlights how her parents’ diverse experiences shaped their lives in the U.S.

Chavi shares that her bicultural experience had a significant impact on her social life, especially when she returned to the U.S. after spending months in India, where she often felt disconnected from American pop culture. Dr. Mona and Chavi discuss how pop culture serves as a common ground for connection among peers. Chavi reflects on the disconnect she felt upon returning to the U.S., where she was unfamiliar with the music, movies, and other trends that defined American youth culture. Chavi describes the positive aspect of being fluent in Hindi, which allowed her to connect with her cousins in India. She also recalls how her American accent in Hindi became a point of teasing among her relatives and symbolized her status as an outsider, despite her efforts to fit in.

The conversation continues with reflections on the complexities of learning and maintaining one's heritage language while growing up in a different culture. The level of fluency in one's heritage language and the sense of belonging within various communities are key predictors of having a more hyphenated, bicultural identity. Chavi notes that for many immigrant families, sleepovers were unusual and often discouraged unless the families involved were close and trusted friends. This sentiment is shared across various cultures, such as Indian and Colombian, where parents could be more protective and cautious. Dr. Mona connects this to broader cultural norms around safety and familial boundaries, emphasizing that these restrictions were a source of commonality among many immigrants and their children.

Next, Chavi reflects on the relationship between cultural belonging and food. When she was growing up, her peers’ reactions to her culture’s traditional foods often felt like a judgment on her identity. For many bicultural individuals, food becomes a symbol of both cultural pride and alienation, as it reflects the complexities of navigating two worlds.

Before wrapping up, Chavi reflects on how the environment her children are growing up in is vastly different from her own, thanks to greater cultural awareness and acceptance. She is intentional about ensuring her children are surrounded by peers who share similar cultural backgrounds, allowing them to feel a sense of belonging. She works actively to protect her children from being objectified or reduced to cultural stereotypes, reflecting ongoing efforts to foster a balanced and respectful understanding of cultural identity. She also shares about her organization North Carolina Asian Americans Together (NCAAT), and how she wants to create a sense of belonging and community for other Asian Americans in North Carolina through the work of NCAAT.

Finally, Chavi shares what belonging means to her: bring her whole self into spaces.

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0:40 - Dr. Mona introduces today’s guest, Chavi Koneru.

1:25 - Dr. Mona and Chavi’s shares experiences as the children of immigrants.

4:51 - Chavi’s family story and bicultural upbringing.

8:51 - Pop culture and social and cultural disconnects.

10:09 - Navigating language and identity.

11:18 - Experiencing differences in daily life.

12:42- Cultural expectations, code switching and connection.

16:22 - Sleepovers and other cultural restrictions.

19:56 - Cultural belonging and food.

27:49 - Bicultural parenting.