#20 Belonging + Shadow Work

Jul 4

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In this episode, Dr. Mona speaks with Nancy Levin, a Master Coach, podcast host, and bestselling author. Her latest book “Embrace Your Shadow to Find Your Light” reached #1 on Amazon's new releases in the Journal Writing Self-Help category within a week of its release.

To begin, Nancy explains that the term shadow self was first coined by Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung. It is the reservoir of our unconscious where the parts of ourselves that we deny, suppress and repress get relegated to. The parts of us that we don’t want to claim live in the shadow. This becomes a breeding ground for shadow beliefs, commitments and desires – anything hidden from ourselves but still driving our lives. The qualities that we reject are shoved into the shadow, which leads to baseless beliefs that dictate how we show up in the world and interact with others. Beliefs are magnetic. If someone believes that they are not worthy, then they will eventually attract people and situations that reinforce that belief.

Most of us go through life with the fear of what other people might think of us. Though we think that we are fearing their judgment, what is really happening is that we’re already judgemental ourselves. Once we are in a place of alignment for ourselves, no criticism from the outside has any surface to stick to. Nancy encourages listeners to look at the people in their lives who they feel triggered or activated by in some way. From there, identify the quality from their behavior that bothers you and ask yourself how that quality is a reflection of yourself. It’s important to recognize that we all contain the same qualities. For example, once Nancy started to reclaim her own laziness, she no longer was triggered by laziness in others. The journey to embracing our shadows is a journey to wholeness by reclaiming every part of ourselves and harnessing our gifts.

One of the best ways to examine your own life while feeling safe in your body is to believe that the things holding you back were formed during childhood, before you were able to process it. Before consciousness, we all developed belief systems that continue to inform everything we do until we address them. Nancy is a firm believer that we can create anything that we are committed to, but the problem is that most people don’t know what they really want. She explains that the things that served us as a child are the seeds of self sabotage as an adult. To reverse this pattern, we should swap the commitments around and make a commitment to serve the opposite commitment.

The unaddressed aspects of your shadow will manifest into your real life. If you aren’t working on it intentionally, it can come out in unexpectedly damaging ways. It is so empowering to no longer hold other people responsible for the quality of your own life.

In closing, Nancy shares what belonging means to her: the sense of safety and acceptance inside of herself.

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0:20 - Dr. Mona introduces today’s guest, Nancy Levin.

3:43 - What is the shadow self?

9:35 - How our own shame breeds fear of external opinions.

12:19 - Naming our shadow parts.

20:53 - Using entitlement to your benefit.

25:15 - Examining our lives in a safe way.

32:05 - How to flip the story of our childhood commitments.

36:39 - How the unaddressed shadow manifests.

39:24 - What belonging means to Nancy.

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