#34 Belonging + Gaming

Oct 10

Listen to this episode on

In this episode, Dr. Mona chats with Clinical Mental Health Counseling student Mark Stone, who is also her partner.

Kicking off the conversation, Dr. Mona reflects on how they met in 1995 and how Mark was a completely different version of himself in gaming. Mark shares how he first got interested in gaming when he was a kid. He had asthma when he was younger and moved around a lot as a kid, so he did not have a friend group. He was also autistic and had ADHD, so social interactions and connecting with people was awkward and hard for him. Mark started to play video games and developed that gamer identity. Gaming was a safe space where he could be himself and he realized he was very good at it. Not all kids can be great at sports and when he started playing in gaming tournaments, it was the first time he had a community. People knew him and his gamer identity, and asked to play against him and if he would teach them how to play. Gaming for Mark was a whole new world in which he could discover different parts of himself and explore who he was. He also didn’t have the opportunity to see himself reflected back in other people until he was in the gaming experiences. He felt a sense of belonging in games and while there are dangers online and pitfalls, there are also many beneficial possibilities for gaming.

Next, Mark discusses how gaming communities are different from other communities. He felt like the most important times in his life were when the video games came online. He would spend hours playing every day, and felt like his safest and more authentically himself. He was also recruited to a league worldwide and someone chose him to be on the team. He was never chosen by any team except for the math team and this was the first time he was being chosen for something because he was good at it. Mark felt like he could authentically be himself in gaming, and he felt important and valued. None of their physical attributes mattered in gaming – everyone was there to support one another and beat the other team.

They then talk about cultural representation and stereotypes in games. The stereotypes in gaming is that they are teenage cisgender white boys, but most of Mark’s teammates were not. On the other hand, the representations of people from different cultures can be problematic. For example, there was a game called Street Fighter that had characters from all over the world but would almost fake characterize them. To show how overcharacterizatizing populations or minorities can be harmful, Dr. Mona shares a hurtful story of her kid in elementary school who asked if the school was making fun of Egyptians because they had a headdress on a stuffed monkey and called him King Tut. Mark says these days you can create your own character in the game or choose the character you most associated with to create belonging. He usually would pick characters based on their fighter style more than the visual representation of them.

Dr. Mona and Mark also discuss gaming in parenting and how there are positive benefits for mental health as a gamer. Mark says it could be a gaming addiction with kids when school or work is negatively affected, and it’s out of balance. Both of them have restrictions on gaming for their kids based on their grades in school. To create that balance, Mark says the key is to have a sense of connection with your child by building that relationship with them, and then authentically checking in on your kid to see how they are doing.

Lastly, they talk about how inviting clients to gaming could help them feel a sense of community. Mark says it’s awesome for clients who have the time, and he has seen gaming be a big turnaround for those adults. They need to find joy again and get out their energy, and gaming might just be the answer for that.

In closing, Mark shares that as a gamer, belonging to him meant being a part of the fun and being able to relax and enjoy playing video games.

*****

1:06 - Dr. Mona introduces today’s guest, Mark Stone.

3:03 - How did you get interested in gaming?

6:02 - What were you noticing about yourself?

12:40 - How do you see gaming communities as different from other communities?

16:35 - What have you noticed about the diversity of the characters in the video games?

20:51 - How did you feel you were represented in the game?

27:51 - When do we start to think this is a gaming addiction?

30:55 - What can we do as parents to create that balance?

33:55 - Could inviting clients to gaming help them feel a sense of community?

38:53 - What does belonging mean to you as a gamer?